Long time no write. I've been treading water. Mopey, painful, miserable, wintry water. Sitting still a lot. Walking a little. Recovering a lot from little walks. Walking again. Trying my best.
I've managed to keep my 365Grateful shots posted daily since beginning over a month ago. It's a lovely ritual. Usually I take several photos every day, and reflect on all the things I'm grateful for just before I sleep (or try to sleep). You can take a look here if you like.
It's led to being present a lot more often. That can only be a good thing. Even being present with frustration (at lack of energy/strength/movement) and pain, really sinking into it can give it permission to go away sometimes. Ok, I've seen you, I acknowledge you, now please go away. Me time. Happy time. Peace and tranquility, and a giant packet of chips. Yeah! It works a treat sometimes.
Yesterday was unbelievably bad, as far as pain and frustration and just not accepting limitations - absolutely not willing to lower my expectations any further and all the rage that comes with that. So I felt the things and did all the stuff that usually helps, went to sleep miserable.
Today I woke up with energy and clarity and movement. Amazing! Thought it best to capture it when it happens so here I am.
It's really lovely to focus on things that are good, parts of your life and the world that you're grateful for. I'm pretty good at that in general (it may not sound like it in this post, but trust me). I'm not so good at allowing myself to express when I'm pissed off. So I started a list in my phone of things that annoy me, but are actually no big deal. It makes me laugh to read the list so I thought I'd share it with you.
Things That Annoy Me A Lot But Are Actually Not A Big Deal
- Hashtags on Facebook. #whenthey'resolongthatitakesamicroscopetodecipherwhatthehellisthepointjustshutup
- The sign at the 7 11 advertising hot chocolate, spelled "Hot Chockee"
- Every time I go to the post office to pick up a parcel, they ask me for ID. Every time they say "but this isn't the address" and I say "turn it over". I live in the worlds smallest town. Come on.
- Misuse of their/there/they're. See also your/you're. This creates huge balls of fury in my gut.
- Attempting to stream a television show on the Channel 10 website, being interrupted by the same ad three times in a row, and halfway through the episode it gets stuck and you can't see the end.
- People asking you things they can Google, which leads you to Google it for them. How about this? How about in the time it took you to ask me something, you look it up for yourself? Man!
- When people say "badge" but they mean "brooch". A badge is a flat round disc, attached to your shirt with a safety pin. A brooch is a whole other thing. Calling a brooch a badge makes it sound cheap, nasty, and like it's twenty cents from the local primary school fete.
- Don't even get me started on public transport users.